Is Time the goal?

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”     Ecclesiastes 3:1-8


Time passes and seasons change, life moves on and moments fade; true joy becomes a memory and the life making moments find a way to end.  We beg for those times to stop, freeze, and hang onto us as if it is a secret never to be told.  We long for just one more second to be lost in the beauty of pure perfection that life sometimes gives. The idea that the future can exist without those exact moments happening again burrows deep into a restless heart that is trying to grow deeper in faith. This idea rustles through my soul that the future will soon be the past and my thoughts will be drawn deep into the game of remembering and longing for a repeat of the moment that seemed to bring such fulfillment, such joy.  Time, uninterrupted unconditional time, is my love language and I find myself hanging onto time in hopes of never losing love.  So a future where time is stopped, those moments where my heart feels the most eternal deep love it can here on earth, had become a goal to hold onto; something I will never obtain this side of heaven.

Those perfect moments temp my present, daring me to try to stop time; but no matter how my heart begs the only thing that I’ve found when dealing with time is the promise of constant momentum and ultimately an ending.  The endings often bring a sense of loss, joy enveloped with a sadness, profound brokenness all wrapped in the throbbing of perfection that one moment recklessly held.  Those moments we need to hold tightly onto as we move forward on the road that promises more; more laughter, more holiness, and more deep unconditional love; but is it the time we should grab onto?

Many of the moments I long to grasp and hold onto tightly, to stop and stay in, are made on a road.  A road is always moving forward and always seeking a new adventure.  It never seems to be satisfied, it just keeps moving and gives way to undivided time and peace in the presence of those closest to you.  It promises journey and life at every stop all while beckoning you to keep moving forward and never stopping for far too long.  The stops only provide those heart quenching details that build the road into even more of a friend and dare you to dream of all the incredible things that lie at the next exit.  Those detours are just moments that pause the movement of the road but never pauses time or the deepening of the friendship the road holds.

Over the last eight months time has been the thing I keep begging to stop, the thing I find myself longing to hold onto and desperately white knuckle gripping.  I wanted to stop time to control the ending, to make certain this life doesn’t end in loss or pain.  A few days ago, in a moment of time, I learned a tender truth I almost missed as one of our soccer players clung onto my shoe; time is a friend, a conduit, that brings the most beautiful heart-full joys into your life but time is not the thing to try to hold onto, no it’s not the thing that we truly want to possess; as I looked down and saw her hand gripping my shoe enjoying the time she had with me I felt a tug on my heart, we should be holding onto those that time allows us to be with not gripping the vessel that allows us to be with them.  That husband that not only promises the world but delivers, yeah hang onto him; that friend your heart is intertwined with, hold tight to her; that mentor who loves you without any strings and who does in fact stop time for you, she is a keeper; that young girl who listens to your every word and sees someone she admires, what an honor to hold onto her;  your little one whose grin shines and their big brown eyes light up when you walk through the door, grab onto them steadfastly and close;  your mom who moves heaven and earth just to be with you for a second, she might just be the one you should white knuckle; what about your hero that believes in you and pushes you to be all that God has for you to be, maybe hold him tight too.

God is a God of relationship and He longs for you and all your time, wrap your arms around His waist and fall recklessly  into His tender embrace!  Let Him hang onto you!

All this time I have been longing to stop time, to halt it in the real and the raw, but the truth is the real and the raw lies deep within your relationship with Jesus and the relationships that He has blessed your life with.  Time allows our roots the unwavering ability to grow and grow deep in Him and through Him we find true fellowship and unconditional love and grace from those He gives us.

Unconditional is hard to find in this day and age, but it does it exist.  It may be rarer than a unicorn but when you find those who forgive your humanness and hold you tight in their unconditional grace, because their hearts long and look so much like Jesus, those are the ones you should grab onto and hold with all your might!  Those relationships that shine Jesus in every direction, the ones whose hearts beat with His rhythm, those individuals who always point you back to Him and show you His deep compassion just simply by the way they look in your eyes, those relationships are the things you should be hanging onto, not time.

There is a season for everything under the sun and God uses time to be the sunshine to grow and nurture those relationships that push you towards Him and becoming more and more holy so that one day your heart will look like His.  So hang on tight and allow time to be the vessel that deepens your heart into Him and allow His love to pour through your relationships.

This week take time to love others, grab onto them in those moments with the love of Christ and go out and enjoy the ride He has for you! Let time grow you deeper into Him! Hold tight…. it’s one incredible timeless road.


Mountain Pauses

“I lift my eyes to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2


We headed for a weekend filled with soccer and relaxing in the big city when suddenly plans changed. As we turned the car back towards home we found ourselves facing a completely different weekend;  I could feel God whisper, “pause” deep into my heart. I sat still not sure what He meant but whole heartily refusing to think about the weekend that could mean disappointment, a weekend that might not allow me to recharge or be an introvert, until a few minutes later when she half-jokingly says, “Part of me could just keep driving on into Red River.”


Sometimes I am not the best influence, or maybe I am, “Really? I know someone who has said I can use their cabin.”

Our minds playing with the idea of doing something so out of character, so adventurous, so brave.

To live in the moment, to stop the ache of future planning and the sting of the past hurts for a moment, a brief moment, to jump in without a plan and dare to simply follow God as He hits play;  there is the temptation of a possible freedom that my heart has never known. I trust her, so I jump in and dare to live outside my introverted, safe, strategic box.

PLAY…all the way to the mountains.

The air stung our lungs with the best kind of hurt. Our eyes surveyed the beauty as the racing river swept down the bank. The running water sweeping over the rocks. My mind connects to a memory, a moment frozen in time as our two boys held me close while at the same time trying to push me away as they courageously stood in the running water all those years ago. I could see his wet faded jeans and white sunglasses propped atop his head as his smile danced from the coldness of the river. His brother, a little more cautious, watching me and following my cue as I found solid footing in the river. A picture, a sweet work of art, rushed through my mind as we stood on the bridge watching the river rush by.

She indulged me as we walked the trail coming to a clearing that promised snow just yards away. Yards that just happened to be at a rough incline. She humored me as we climbed higher and higher daring our lungs to hunger for more oxygen. God’s fingerprints stained the mountain side with deep greens and pale yellows. My eyes, in desperation, could not take in enough of the view.

A lively declaration sternly pointed straight at me as she gasp for air. Immediately, healing filled my lungs as an enduring laugh escaped my lips. The words she said flooded my ears as my feet gripped the side of the mountain and my eyes couldn’t help but laugh along with my lips. It took me a few minutes to control the fun that escaped my serious side. Suddenly, I was at ease and immersed in the moment full of memories and somehow a promise of a future hope as God intertwined the present with the past.

We wandered down that trail as the sunlight danced through the aspens. Our feet sloshed through mud and strolled across the man-made snow that had escaped the heat that promised the end of a season.

My mind falling deep into another memory; one I had never spoken; one I held close, protecting it as though it were fragile. Somehow my heart dared to express the sweetness and sorrow that wrapped up a moment that feels like yesterday. She listened as my heart seemed to grasp a moment of clarity, a moment of healing. She simply listened and let my eyes flood with emotion. That mountainside offered more than was expected that morning.


Breathe in healing, laugh out joy, speak the truth and treasure the memories. The mountains have always seemed to be the place I run to see Him a little more clearly. A moment of peace as only His artistry could showcase. A moment painted with His paintbrush providing a new set of memories showcasing His incredible glory.


Driving down an old dirt road squeezing time for every second it’s worth, begging the road to last just a mile longer, pleading with the mountain air to blow through the windows just a little bit more, and singing that song one more time in hopes that it won’t end.

Running away for an instant in time where you find yourself truly living in that moment begging the future to fade away.

Living in a moment, truly living in a moment with no agenda. She taught me that this weekend. To be spontaneous and dare to live in spite of the pain, longing for the healing, and daring to temp peace and joy to overtake and soothe the soul.

When we lift our eyes up to the mountain, when we seek His face with all our might, when we long to be in His presence worshipping Him, adoring Him we will find that He is our help and He is our refuge.

God has a plan, a good good plan! We have to trust Him for those times He tells us to PAUSE and follow Him when He says PLAY. We have to allow Him the freedom to grow us and love us and sometimes that means we have to take a chance. Sometimes that means we have to trust Him as He moves us to spontaneity. Sometimes He gives you an amazing gift by giving you a friend that reminds you to not be so serious, encourages you to step out of your box, and allows you the freedom to be who He made you to be.

So lift your eyes up to the mountains. He is there and He is so very good. He is our rock and our salvation. He will cover us with His feathers. He will fill us with peace and provide healing. He will provide you with moments to see Him more clearly and to simply relax and joy in Him. Listen and breathe in the PAUSE because the moment He hits PLAY you will be blown away!